Being Still, A Lost Luxury

Greetings on this beautiful Blursday!

A few things I keep hearing from people when I ask how they are doing is “I feel like I should be getting a lot done or being creative or writing more or getting fit or (insert whatever aspiration/goal) during this time but I’m not.” Or I hear, “This was supposed to be a time of celebration for me and now it isn’t but who am I to be sad when other’s have it so much worse.” Or, “I hate to admit it because I’m grateful to still have a job but I’m jealous of all this downtime and boredom people are posting about, I want some of that.”

You guys, I just want to say that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that no amount of denying your own grief is going to alleviate the pain and suffering of those who “have it worse than you.” And, of course you feel envious of the downtime when being deemed essential basically means you have to work your ass off under the fear of impending doom just to keep your company in existence or to keep other humans alive while hoping that you don’t catch this awful virus! Which, by the way, if you are a health care worker, THANK YOU!! If you are a health care worker experiencing layoffs, I acknowledge how confusing that must feel and I see your pain as well. 

So here we are, the shock and adrenaline are wearing off and real grief is setting in. How do we honor our grief, heal, and create a new normal when the walls are still crumbling? How do we settle into the unknown? I don’t have the answers to those questions but what keeps coming up for me is to be still. Telling ourselves that we should be doing a certain amount of something or we should not be feeling a certain way is setting ourselves up for shame and disconnection with the beauty & comfort that lies within.  These are tender times and whatever “it” is that you are grieving or trying to reconcile trust that your way of doing it is the right way.

Be still with whatever it is that you are feeling, say it out loud and release it.  Even if this means whispering it in the shower because you can’t find a corner to yourself. Release the tension of fear and frustration that is taking up space in your body to make way for a deeper connection to your inner guidance. Say things out loud so that the fear loses some of its power and lean into the knowing that nothing is certain, it never was. Collectively we are all hurting and collectively we can all hold space for one another and heal. I don’t know about you but I have never lived more presently than I do now and I recognize that as a gift from this crisis.

I love you and I appreciate you reading this until the end. If connection is something you need, please let me know, and let’s jump on the phone! If you need more laughter in your day, please go check out a hilarious podcast or show! Otherwise, don’t hate on yourself for loving how on point the quarantine memes are.